Last week of school

Last week, when we had our live group with Mama Connie, she asked us about the biggest change we had after all these months in this school. I shared a few things, but in fact, it is much more than that. Not only my 

life pattern is changed (healthier; less time on computer; more time with God), my heart is shifted.

Before I came to the school, I didn’t even know that I CAN have such an intimacy with my Heavenly Father. I didn’t really spend time with God, and still thought I’m a pretty good Christian just because I went to church every Sunday. Till now, I then realize this is not what Christianity is about. Christianity is about love and relationship; not about formulas and performances. It is so amazing to find out how real he is and how much he cares about me. It is actually pretty shocking to know how much he wants me more.

Back then, I probably have heard hundreds or thousands times that Jesus loves us. But the moment when I have encountered him, and started to experience this love myself, everything changed. The more I get to know Him, the more I’m amazed by his love and goodness, and the more I long for him. Having a conversation with Holy Spirit; worshipping God with my heart and my soul; having the freedom to walk in the opposite spirit; and all the revelations and gifting that God has been giving me right now, these are the thing I could never have imagined before. And I know that what God has prepared for me, my destiny, are dreams that I cannot even dreamed of. After all these months, I stop to struggling with my own plans of life; instead, I’m busy with building a closer relationship with God. I want His will to be done in my life, not my own.

Also, after realizing the price ( I mean, know it by heart) Jesus paid on the cross for us, forgiving others is so much easier for me. I know I am still working on it, but I know He will help me with it and I simply just need to choose to love and forgive, for His Spirit is living in me.

My perception towards my family also changed. Before I came to the school, I could not understand how my mom can preach the Gospel to anyone, so passionate, without even concerning how other people think of her. When her friends and our relatives started to talk behind her back and tried to avoid her, I did not stand out to support her, instead, I felt embarrassed and ashamed by her boldness. And I even came up with excuses. I thought I was trying to “protect “her by convincing her not to do that.  Now I realized that it was actually my problem, not hers. I think deep inside, I felt ashamed that I didn’t have the courage and the passion that she has in able to do that for my God. But now, I know that I should care less about what other people think of me, but care about how God sees me. After I came to the school, I realized that my parents are the most precious gifts that God gave me. I am so grateful for a mom like this, who is so passionate for God.

What the school has done to my life is tremendous. I am so grateful that I can have the opportunity to be here, so God can work on me. And knowing it is the people here who put their faith and dreams into actions, so we can discover our identities and callings and be a blessing to others. All the staffs and speakers truly motivated me to walk out my fear and shyness, for they taught me this is what we are called to do; this is who we are born to be- transformers. 

March21, 2011

Last Thursday night was one of the most incredible moments in my life. I danced with my beloved heavenly Father. I closed my eyes and start to feel His presence when Jay asked us to dance with the Lord. I could feel his arms around me, so warm. I could see his face, bright and handsome. His eyes are sparkling. He smiled at me and told me how beautiful I am and how much he wants to embrace me. I had this great joy inside of me with tears in my eyes. I don’t deserve this dance, but he would do anything to have this dance with her daughter. How precious!!

Revelation of this week:

When God turns his back to us, it does not mean that God is walking away from us. He will never give up on us for we are his sons and daughters. This only means He is leading us out of something (could be a dark time or a dark place). He is the leader, and we are his followers.

March14, 2011

Last week was very inspiring and extremely important. We practiced the gifts of the spirit and prophesied on one another. Through this experience, I learned not only how to hear and give out words from God to other peopel, but also to receive the truth from God that are told by others. Sometimes, receiving is even harder than giving (especially the word of truth).

Some of the words that were given to me are extremely significant. In another word, I really need to hear them. It’s a new way of discovering who I am in God’s eyes. Also, I realized the reason that God uses other people to speak to us. Without a doubt, God can speak to us directly. However, we sometimes would doubt the voice that appeared in our hearts. Is that from God or is that just me. So when God send someone to talk to us, it confirms what God has told us. It not only builds up the listener, also encourages the speaker at the same time.

Besides all the fantastic prophecies, we also made right with our brothers and sisters. We confronted, forgave and loved on each other. It was absolutely amazing. It was a big step forward for many of us. I feel God was smiling at us and saying that he is so proud of us at that very moment. 

Mar07,2011

Last week, we watched a lot of videos on different messages: Street interviews “Who is Jesus”; ministries in Japan, and talks on Student Alpha. I found these videos are really powerful, especially the talks Jamie Haith did on the big questions: Who is Jesus? Why did Jesus Die? Why & how should I read the Bible? What about the church and telling others? Who is the Holy Spirit & what does he do? Although the messages are foundations of Christianity, but in the talks, Jamie looks at a lot of evidence and reveals the truth of Christ in a very convincing perspective. I think it is really helpful when we try to share the Gospel with our non-Christian friends. It is hard for people to have a leap of faith on God when their logical minds get into the way. Therefore, the wisdom of preaching the Gospel is very important. I learned a lot in these videos and cannot wait to share them with my friends.

The RELENTLESS worshiping on Thursday night completely blew my mind once again. After the worshiping, Kenny talked about how Jesus died for us so we can live a life. Because I always heard this in church, so it didn’t surprise me a lot until he started to call out our names. When he turned to me and said:”Lucy, Jesus died for you. He died for you”, my tears rushed out like a flood. This is the first time I realized how personal it is: God’s salvation is for ME. It is like I am the only one who stands in front of the cross when he died for me. He died for MY sins for he loves ME. Thank you Lord for this revelation of love!!!!!

There were also lows in the week. However, I want to thank God for these lows as well. For God is so good that he gives me all these opportunities to practice loving and forgiving. I know he will shake me, but then he will restore and renew me with a more Christ-like character. It’s ok to fall down, because he will sustains me and journey with me. I am growing. 

Feb28,2011

This week, I have a further understanding of the vertical and horizontal dimension of God and the earth that Kenny mentioned the week before.  Freedom exists when we are not our own. Freedom, kingdom and wisdom come when we look above. If we only walk horizontally with the world, then we will get stuck and struggle with our earthly problems all day long. But when we look above, all the things we need will be added to us in his way and his time. I believe that what God has prepared for me is the best, for he is a good God.

Before I came here, I would sometimes wander around with question marks in my mind: How come I keep pray for this and God didn’t open up this door for me? Why did God give me this when I asked for something else? Now I realized how blinded I was for I only looked at what are right in front of my eyes but ignored the bigger picture(the bigger plan that God has for me). This is definitely a big step in this Regen Journey. Praise the Lord for that.

Prayer of this week:

Dear Lord, lift up my eyes to heaven, and let your holy spirit be with me and live in me every moment in my life.

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Thank God for this big family. I will love each other and grow together.

Feb21, 2011

Last week has been a long week. A lot of things happened, in school and also back in dorm.  When everything is overwhelming, I do feel a little bit exhausted, both physically and spiritually. Fortunately, I have Holy Spirit to talk to when I feel weak. When I calm my heart and spend time with him, I can feel that I am not alone. Actually, I even felt delightful and grateful for the things that are not so pleasant. I believe it is an opportunity that God gave me to spend more time with him and to practice what’s been taught in class. The best thing is not when someone tells you that he’s the best comforter and healer, but to actually experience it. I feel that forgiving is not as hard as before when I have Holy Spirit empowers me.  Just like what Steve said:” life here is also a part of the lesson”. Once again I realize that REGEN is not just a school that brings knowledge, but a journey that breaks you down and restores you completely—a transformation. Lord, thank you for that.

And on Thursday, when Kenny was talking about stepping out the boat, I realized that God wants us to be a disciple, not just a religious person who sits around in churches. Devil is not afraid of chairs or buildings. But it takes courage to get off the chairs and go out as Jesus did. It requires SURRENDER.

But it is the time now to step out of the boat. I know I will walk on water when my eyes are focus on Jesus.

Feb13, 2011

This week has been absolutely amazing. With Tony’s teaching and help, I started to build a closer relationship with the Holy Spirit. In fact, most of my prayers before were focused on God and Jesus, but not much on Holy Spirit. Now I realize what a significant role Holy Spirit plays in my life.  He is actually a key to discover my identity and destiny. The idea of seeing him as a person is also very helpful. When I wake up in the morning, I would say Good Morning to Holy Spirit; and say Good night to him before I go to bed; or even have a date with Holy Spirit. I can feel that he is right beside me and is always with me. This is absolutely fantastic. So now I can allow him to truly be my counselor, my teacher, my guider and protector.

Another highlight of the week is that I have received the gift of spiritual language AGAIN! Or I should say, God reactivated my spiritual language. I received this gift from God in the 9-day Regen classes last summer. However, I did not know how to start a spiritual prayer or how to practice after I got back to Vancouver. So I barely spoke in tongues except a couple times during some conferences. So I am really grateful how God loves me so much, in which he would give me this gift again when I desire for it. Tony said something in class that was really stuck in my head: What you have so far is basically what you want in your heart.

Right now, I just want to tell Holy Spirit: “I want you more.”

PS: Praise the Lord! Rachel just told me she will stay for the entire 6 month^^ . Haleluya!!