Last week of school

Last week, when we had our live group with Mama Connie, she asked us about the biggest change we had after all these months in this school. I shared a few things, but in fact, it is much more than that. Not only my 

life pattern is changed (healthier; less time on computer; more time with God), my heart is shifted.

Before I came to the school, I didn’t even know that I CAN have such an intimacy with my Heavenly Father. I didn’t really spend time with God, and still thought I’m a pretty good Christian just because I went to church every Sunday. Till now, I then realize this is not what Christianity is about. Christianity is about love and relationship; not about formulas and performances. It is so amazing to find out how real he is and how much he cares about me. It is actually pretty shocking to know how much he wants me more.

Back then, I probably have heard hundreds or thousands times that Jesus loves us. But the moment when I have encountered him, and started to experience this love myself, everything changed. The more I get to know Him, the more I’m amazed by his love and goodness, and the more I long for him. Having a conversation with Holy Spirit; worshipping God with my heart and my soul; having the freedom to walk in the opposite spirit; and all the revelations and gifting that God has been giving me right now, these are the thing I could never have imagined before. And I know that what God has prepared for me, my destiny, are dreams that I cannot even dreamed of. After all these months, I stop to struggling with my own plans of life; instead, I’m busy with building a closer relationship with God. I want His will to be done in my life, not my own.

Also, after realizing the price ( I mean, know it by heart) Jesus paid on the cross for us, forgiving others is so much easier for me. I know I am still working on it, but I know He will help me with it and I simply just need to choose to love and forgive, for His Spirit is living in me.

My perception towards my family also changed. Before I came to the school, I could not understand how my mom can preach the Gospel to anyone, so passionate, without even concerning how other people think of her. When her friends and our relatives started to talk behind her back and tried to avoid her, I did not stand out to support her, instead, I felt embarrassed and ashamed by her boldness. And I even came up with excuses. I thought I was trying to “protect “her by convincing her not to do that.  Now I realized that it was actually my problem, not hers. I think deep inside, I felt ashamed that I didn’t have the courage and the passion that she has in able to do that for my God. But now, I know that I should care less about what other people think of me, but care about how God sees me. After I came to the school, I realized that my parents are the most precious gifts that God gave me. I am so grateful for a mom like this, who is so passionate for God.

What the school has done to my life is tremendous. I am so grateful that I can have the opportunity to be here, so God can work on me. And knowing it is the people here who put their faith and dreams into actions, so we can discover our identities and callings and be a blessing to others. All the staffs and speakers truly motivated me to walk out my fear and shyness, for they taught me this is what we are called to do; this is who we are born to be- transformers.